Here's Some Thoughts...

Well, it's been one long, exhausting day. This whole three classes in a day (2 @ 2 hr, 1 @ 1.5 hr) thing is really getting old, fast. Here is some food for thought that's been going through my mind.

Things are starting to happen a little bit fast. In my last post, I informed you readers that I am moving out of the house and that the parents are relocating themselves. Being that six months ago, I was unaware of any such changes, I am starting to get a tad overwhelmed about the soon-ness of all of this. And that overwhelmingness is really starting to intrude upon my daily life. I feel myself increasingly spacie in the wrong situations (i.e. during class and during rehearsal). I find myself becoming stressed out easier than normal, and that's annoying as all hell. That's one thing... when you build up this academic pedestal to stand on, you cannot take a break. And, right now, that is exactly what I need. I need a break from school, from home, and just some me-time. Throw in some friends, I always have time for them. Which is another thing. I really cannot ask for better friends. They've been around for my fall into psychotic neuroticism and are, surprisingly, still around! And I thank them for that. I thank them for their being someone to talk to throughout all of these events and hope that they continue to do so. I promise, as of June 1, I will return to normal. Hopefully all will be well then.

I am finding myself increasingly without balls. Like, seriously, I get it. On the romantic end, things tend not to work out for me... and it's my own damn fault most of the time. One would think that I would have all of the confidence in the world. However, as one of my friends put it, I have confidence in what I know I'm good at, and lack in confidence in what I haven't mastered, or proven my competency in. So, until I actually realize that my lack of confidence is unwarranted, or, to be blunt, full of shit, then the same shit will keep happening. And, I'm not prepared to let that happen.

Anyway, cue the countdowns:

18 days until my 21st Birthday!!!!!!!

49 days until my lease begins and I'm in my apartment!!!!!