Reflections on an Old Year and a New Year

Well, here we are: December 31, 2009. The final day of the first decade of the new millennium. And here is my cliche` "reflections on the past year" piece.

I rang in 2009 amongst the company of iepoch and zcrescendo and spent most of January working and taking a class. I spent a lot of time hanging out with friends, too, and preparing for a horrific semester which was as horrific as I thought it would be. In fact, schoolwork consumed most of my life from February through May unfortunately. I played the usual round of concerts as a member of the U's Performance Music and was accepted into Pennsylvania's Intercollegiate Band for their festival in the middle of March. I was also accepted into the National Education Honor Society, Kappa Delta Pi. I also had my first field placement, with a sixth grade class at North Pocono Middle School, an experience that I will never forget. It was FANTASTIC!

The summer months were very entertaining. I decided to take a class with some extra money I came across in the form of loans and it was a fantastic experience. My summer was full of interesting and random day trips, such as to Philadelphia with zcrescendo for the sole purpose of picking up iepoch from the airport down there. I took many a trip into New York City to hang out with friends at home for the summer or to attend some sports stuff. I also worked a lot, but not nearly as much as I planned. OH, and there was Colorado, which ranked by far as the best weekend of the year. zcrescendo and I travelled out to visit iepoch at his summer internship with NOAA in Boulder, CO. Highlights, which are viewable in a facebook photo album on my page, included a trip to Cheyenne, WY and a severe-weather laden game at Coors Field between the Rockies and the Braves. This trip really revived my love of travelling and I'm hoping to have some money to take a trip like that again this summer.

The fall months were also busy, as I began the independent study portion of my academic career. I also had a field placement with a preschool class at the Northeastern Educational Intermediate Unit (NEIU), a class whose students were developmentally delayed in one, or more commonly multiple areas. It was an eye-opening experience and I enjoyed it a lot, however it showed me that I am just not cut out for preschool. I'm on the fence about my ability to work with very low functioning individuals, but will figure that out during my special education student teaching. It was full of fantastic Oktoberfests, which will be even better next year when I am legal, and also fantastic randomness with friends. The year wrapped up with me finding out that I was accepted into the graduate program of my choice (beginning work toward my Master's Degree this spring!), Alpha Sigma Nu (the national Jesuit honor society), and Intercollegiate Band 2010.

Romantically...

(Author's Note: I leave this section blank on purpose. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.)

As I prepare to enter 2010, here are some resolutions that I hope to keep:

1. Lose some damned weight. Seriously, I've been telling myself this since the summer. Every time I attempt to lose weight, some obstacle stands in my way. It will not happen. I must fine-tune my diet and get exercising. Now.

2. Keep on keeping on in school.

We shall see what happens, but I do have a feeling that 2010 will be better than 2009. This is almost possible by default, minus Colorado. I guess we'll see. Knowing that I'm going to be in school for an extra year has my "leaving college" anxiety down, and its not a case of arrested undergraduatism. But, to all my friends and readers: Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas to All!

To all my readers,

I would like to take this time to wish each and every one of you and your families a very Happy and Blessed Christmas! May God bless you and may your holiday be filled with happiness and cheer. I have decided to attach the text from Luke 2: 1-14, or as some may recognize, Linus' reading from A Charlie Brown Christmas:

And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed. And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem (because he was of the house and lineage of David) To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Just Because...

...I don't feel like starting an idiotic debate on my Facebook page, I'll pose my problem here:

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW THE HEALTH BILLS PASSED IN THE HOUSE AND THE SENATE WILL HELP AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feel free to enlighten me, because I haven't been following it with the utmost closeness. I'm going by the whole "tax me now for something that will start in four years" approach.

Hmmm...

So, the last couple of days have been a bit of a downer for me. I really don't know why; that's the baffling part! I'm guessing I could attribute it to the "low" that results from the "high" of exams... at least that will be part of it. I could attribute it to the lack of female attention I get, but then what would explain all of the other times. I could attribute it to boredom with most of my friends gone, but eh, boredom usually results in my most creativity. That's not happening right now. I need to take the time and figure out what's going on. One of my co-workers even asked me if everything was okay because I looked like I was drifting off into annoyed/bummed out thought - I told her I was fine solely because I didn't know what was bugging me... I simply knew that something was bugging me.

Life isn't all bad... here's some highlights of the week:

1) I spent some time at Barnes and Noble with zcrescendo on Monday night, finally pretty much putting to bed my semester-long 25-page paper on gifted reading education. I'm kinda getting sick of reading ed for now, so putting that completely behind me and taking a bit of a break will help in that department. Even those who devote their lives to something they love can get sick of it every now and again. (It's like that night of rehearsal that conflicts with the five papers due the next day -- you musicians all know how that feels!)

2) I have a meeting tomorrow with my graduate advisor to register for classes. Yes! Knock on wood that the registration goes through - I'm getting impatient.

3) I'm starting a new article in my free time. That's right - I'm more of a college professor than college student if you think about it... my free times (free time as in when school's not in session...not free time as in time that could be used to have a social life!) are spent writing stuff for possible publication.

4) A lot of my friends got fucked over by a certain Organic Chemistry professor with a fondness of sustainability, one who is probably in Copenhagen right now riding Al Gore until he cowers over in pain and exhaustion, and a number of my friends may actually not be returning to Scranton in the spring. Thanks, Doc!

Some Notes...

1. I recommend the movie Invictus. Although some may see it as a political movie, it was very well-done and highly enjoyable. Also, given that I may be going to the African continent this summer, it is a look at the gorgeous geography but also some of the poverty that is there. Because the movie was actually shot in South Africa, I feel it is a good way to check out the African continent before going there.

2. I had the weirdest dream last night, one in which I was teaching the same class of students who I taught in Spring 2007... it was weird, I miss them. Even though it was just a high school volunteer experience, I still consider them my first class ever... and you never forget your first class.

3. This is the sad note: I am going to the U's library today... to do work... whilst on break.

Welcome Winter!!

Now that the fall semester has come to an end, I would like to welcome us all to the joy that is Winter Break! For the next six weeks, there are no exams, no papers, no presentations, no readings, no complicated mathematics (well...uh... still doing that). Of course, that also means that the vast majority of my friends are gone now and the list of things to do will not be as plentiful as it has been. But nevertheless, stress-free is the way to be.

Tonight, I had to play a gig at the local watering hole...err bar...The Banshee. I was part of an impromptu low brass Christmas band, "Tiny Tim and the Ten (minus four) Tubas!" I had never seen the music before we played, which was a first as far as performing is concerned. I mean, it was all Christmas music, so it wasn't exactly difficult. My parents came down to see the performance and I was disappointed that they didn't actually see us perform. There was some weirdness with the schedule and I only ended up playing once, right at the beginning. We were supposed to go on again later, but I had to go early as I had promised a few friends that I would go for Chinese with them.

After the bar, zcrescendo, his three philosophers, Lisa, Mike, Glennifer, and I all went to grab some Chinese food because tomorrow the latter three leave for Christmas break. It was fantastic fun, augmented by the fact that select individuals were not exactly 0.00 on the old BAC scale! But I digress (and am still full from the food.) I love Chinese food, but we need a divorce as I need to lose weight and Chinese food does contribute significantly to my large weight.

Needless to say, tonight was one of the most fun nights I have had in a while; zcrescendo went as far as to say it was one of his top two nights of the semester. I definitely agree! That's one thing this semester was lacking in - stress-free fun. But it's okay, that's what break is for.

Speaking of break... I have decided tomorrow is going to be a personal day. I will not get out of bed except only to see my little sister participate in her First Holy Reconciliation, one of two Catholic milestones she will be reaching this year. After that, it's back to sleep, relaxing, and watching TV all day. "QED Baby"/Rachmaninoff lent me a season of Rocky and Bullwinkle and I need to finish watching it so I can give it back to him.

Other than that, there are a few cool things going on during break that I will most certainly be blogging about:

• Christmas and New Years.
• The Return of iepoch and the various shenanigans that will result
• The PA Farm Show thingy in Harrisburg, first week in January.
• A trip to Rutgers to very briefly investigate the possibility of an Ed.D or PhD in an educational field.
• Service trip to Harrisburg at the end of January.
• My journey to being in-shape and not as fat.
• Completing two more articles for publication.
• An eight book long reading list for my Junior Honors Seminar next semester (I will be posting the book list within a couple of days.)

To everyone... enjoy the weekend and, most of all, STAY WARM!!!!

Easiness

Sometimes I enjoy sitting and thinking. Today just seems to be one of those days when I did do a good amount of thinking -- well, at least for the past twenty minutes or so.

The question: "Why can't certain aspects of my life just be a tad bit easier?"

I look at my life. For the most part, my coursework in school is really not so challenging, mostly because the coursework has become only material that actually interests me and completely effects my career choice. I supplement that with a rough math course every now and again, just making it harder.

But, I look at one specific aspect of my life, one which bothers me a lot more than it really should. I mean, I get it. I bitch about my sucky love life every so often, but it does suffice. I've made efforts not to really talk about it, because there is only so much that everyone can take. All I'm saying is - it should come easier.

Reflections on a Semester

Well, the Fall 2009 Semester is quickly coming to a close and I feel this is as good a time as ever to begin reflecting on what has been one of my better semesters here.

I. Classes

-- For the most part, my academic workload was not too bad, but I really decided to let "Senioritis" get the better of me as the semester dragged on. And, for those of you who know me, I know exactly what you're saying: "You're not a senior!?" Well, that did not stop me from becoming thoroughly academically-unmotivated as the semester went on. Taking a 21-credit courseload is a pain in the ass, to put it bluntly, but when grades come out next week I guess that is when the true test of the courseload will come to the surface.

-- Easiest class of the semester: EDUC 342 (Educational Media & Technology) - This class was a JOKE! Don't get me wrong, most of the material is useable for teachers, but the grading scales were so lenient that I feel like all decently functioning human beings would have gotten an A.

-- Hardest class of the semester: MATH 222 (Calculus III) - I give Calc III the "hardest class" honors because it really was, however I feel I quickly mastered the material and turned it into an easy class. Going into the final exam, I have accumulated 396 of 400 possible points (lost 4 points because I didn't know how to find the volume of a parallelepiped - I am sure I will forever be reminded of this blunder). Regardless, I studied more for this class than perhaps every other class of the semester.

II. Graduate School

-- I'm in! The University accepted me into their combined Bachelors/Masters Degree program which means that I will possess (God-willing) a Master's Degree by June 1, 2012! While my friends, family, professors, and I had no doubt I would get into the program, the application process dragged on from late August through December, when just last week I received the letter. To my other friends like iepoch and zcrescendo who are currently going through this process, my best wishes of luck of course go out to you. (Then again, nothing ever means anything until it is placed into the blogosphere...right?)

III. Music

-- I must admit: going into the semester, music worried me. I mean, there was that issue of that girl at the end of last semester which kinda got me down for a bit, but I decided really to say "Fuck it" (...absolutely...no...pun...intended). This semester in band, choir, and jazz band ended up being the most fun I've had there in my five semesters playing. And that's really saying something. Having zcrescendo back to crack daily jokes with in every rehearsal was of course an added bonus that was missed last semester, but still... everything seemed to go much better. Of course, there were rough spots, like the week-long rehearsals leading up to Noel Night that really never seemed to end! But still, fantastic! An excellent job to everyone involved with the music program this semester! Can't wait to pick it up again in February.

IV. The Romantic Front

-- I choose to label this section as thus because I have the song Love is a Battlefield stuck in my head - damn! This has, hands down, been my failure of course. It seems as though love has decided to elude me, and it's totally okay. It's been like this: I like A, but B likes me. A does not like me (or at least I don't know...nor do I want to find out with a mere two days left to the semester) and I do not like B. Whatever - it's better than where I was at the end of last semester.

-- I feel as though my confidence with this regard has increased a bit, but still has mountains to climb. I mean, I dunno. I'm steadfast in my belief that there is a certain degree of matters of the heart that are out of my control, but I'd like to begin to control that a bit. And, as a certain Professor of mine said, "Patience is a virtue. So use it, damnit!"

V. Announcement

-- For those of you who do see me on a daily basis over Intersession, this does not apply to you, as it will be harder for you to notice. However...

-- Beginning Wednesday, December 9, 2009, at 12:15 PM, I will be beginning a new, rigorous routine of diet and exercise, the goal of which will be to lose 20 pounds by the beginning of Spring 2010 semester. Wish me luck, and I hope the difference will be noticable.

Well, I hope you enjoyed reading!!!

Thanksgiving: Family, Football, and Turkey

So, yesterday for Thanksgiving, my family went over to Orange County, NY to have Thanksgiving dinner with my uncle, aunt, and her side of their family. It was the first time I had seen them since the summer, so needless to say it was a long overdue trip. And, it really was a lot of fun!

Of course - my aunt's sister's husband happens to be a beer collector (and drinker) so the alcohol was abundant. And, of course, my family chose every single occasion to poke at the fact that I'm not 21 yet, which, yeah, after the first couple of times is funny...but it gets old fast.

What is cool, however, is how much my little cousins look up to me. I'm their proverbial "older figure who is in college and therefore knows everything." So, we sat in the hot tub (YES - there was a hot tub!) for a while chatting about everything from the nature of the solar system to global warming to an algebraic proof that 2=1. It was cool.

I was also taken aback by the fact that everyone is getting so damn old! And I don't mean the adults, I mean the kids. I distinctly remember visiting each one of my cousins at the hospital when they were born, and now one of them is thinking about career choices and possible colleges. In fact, during my graduate year, he will be doing the whole visiting colleges thing. WHAT?!?

Anyway, now that the random babbling is done: Happy Black Friday, everyone! For the first time peraps ever, I could possibly be out shopping on Black Friday. There's something wrong here.

Randomocity

This entry is going to be one of those "random thoughts floating around in my head that should be put to paper" posts, so stop reading if not interested.

1. Happy Thanksgiving, and to my fellow classmates and Royals, HAPPY BREAK!!!! We all deserve it, and we have all been through a lot of work, stress, and family situations lately that leave us exhausted.

2. I'm getting a little anxious about my Gifted Reading manuscript, mostly because I want it to be done with, but know it's not nearly of a publishable quality yet.

3. My final mathematics course ever wraps itself up next week. I need to change that. (and by that I mean find more room to take math courses in the future)

4. The University Christmas concert is soon upcoming, which makes me realize how far from ready I am for this semester to end... I mean, part of me still feels like we just got back from summer break a short time ago.

5. At the same time, the University Christmas concert is soon upcoming, so I better get done with my work soon, because dress rehearsals will consume my life.

6. Speaking of work, I have a lot of it: Calculus, Differential Equations, Reading paper revisions, an E-Portfolio, and a 5-page paper on ADHD Classroom Interventions, to be exact.

7. I certainly hope my newest attempt to court a flautist doesn't blow up in my face nearly as hard as the last one did.

8. I wonder why that Calculus girl has been so oblivious?

9. Oh wait... I know why... it's me. That's why.

10. The Byzantine Divine Liturgy is cool.

Enjoy, and again: HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!

Cartoons and Kids

As a special event in my Emotional/Behavioral Disabilities class today, my professor brought in three students with special needs, and I had rather kickass moments involving both children.

First was a fourteen year old kid with what at first glance seemed to be Down's Syndrome. He had a really hard time stringing words together to make a thought, but was talking about recent movies he had seen on television. I'll save the details, but we became fast friends by discussing rather in-depth plot details of the Nickelodeon show iCarly.

Next was a four year old child with Autism who, as most of those children do, scripts movies. Scripting is when you can recite, at will, lines and scenes from movies or television shows. He was going on and on about a mouse getting stuck inside of a saxophone and nobody could figure out what that was from. Then, it hit me. Thank God I have had my seven year old sister to watch kids shows with, because from doing stuff with her I realized that he was scripting the Wonder Pets. Needless to say, it resulted in fantastic looks of amazement from the child, and odd looks of "how do you know that exactly?" from the class. FANTASTIC!

World Series?

As a Mets fan these days, it suffices to say that my voice has been silenced. I mean, really, what Mets fan has any right to open his/her mouth about this World Series in any way? Doing so is simply asking to be punched in the face. Alas, I will not be silenced! I have two artifacts to share with you, readers, regarding the "Fall Classic."

First, this poem, which my Differential Equations professor (of all people) showed me during his office hours today:

There’s Only One October Wish
So now it is here, the Series we dreaded
Our season long gone, our hopes and dreams shredded
And we have a Choice more Susan Smith than Sophie
Just who is our preference for this Fall Classic trophy?
Some say “Let’s Go Yankees!”; the words make me choke
I’d sooner root on those who made Wall Street broke
Still others see Philly as where we’d best fit in
Which makes sense, but only if you’d punch a kitten
So what’s left to hope for? An injury or two,
Or an H1N1 outbreak from Bull’s BBQ
But I hope for neither, I want both teams back again
So the healed Mets can beat them in 2010
My Fall dream is simple, my fantasy ode
Starts and ends with the winning team clinching on the road
So home fans, be they Yankee or Phillie
Shed their tears as they head into weather so chilly
Let me see fans torn apart from falling short of their goal,
Phillies fans oh-so portly, Yankee fans sans a soul
Others may wish for some A-Rod clutch-hitting horror
Or comeuppance for Victorino, that baserunning schnorrer
My October wish isn’t nearly so wild
Just give me a close-up of one crying child

Now, I realize that this poem does have some harsh (though true) claims, especially that of the author's wanting to see a child cry for his/her fallen team. But, the author does shed some light as to how a Mets fan may enjoy this series.

WHAT IF... the road team wins every game? Granted, this will mean that the losers from Filthadelphia will have their second straight (gag) WS ring. But think about it. NEVER would excitement strike the crowds at the stadia. NEVER would the cheers of crowds for two franchises which I abhore (for you younger readers, that means "hate a lot") make me sick. AND... the series would be WATCHABLE! Both fan bases are spoiled. The reigning World Champions - of course their fans "know" there will be a repeat. And for the Yankees, the best team money can buy, it's World Champs or bust on an annual basis.

Echoing Billy Mays, BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!!! The series is a 2-3-2, meaning Games 1, 2, 6, and 7 will be at the (whore)house that Ruth built and Games 3, 4, and 5 will be at Shitizens Bank Park. Therefore, the Yankees would, if the pattern holds, be up 3 games to 2 returning home. The Bomber fans would be ECSTATIC about a World Championship being within an arm's distance...until...they...LOSE!!!!!

So, there you have it. My hope for this series - and one last way to salvage what has been an epic season of horrid proportions: The Phillies will win the series in seven games; they will win games 1 and 2, the Yankees 3, 4, and 5, and the Phillies 6 and 7.

Something Else Has Been Bugging Me...

My lack of anything even closely related to romance in life.

I get very annoyed from time-to-time, and now would be one of those times, that my own lack of romance in even its simplest form causes me to become bitter. Why? The simplest of minute things, such as seeing a couple holding hands, begins to piss me off. I know it's jealousy - it is "why can't I have what you have? Haven't I been single long enough now?" And it's not like couples even flaunt themselves, it is my own pissed-off nature with regards to this stuff.

Almost everyone I hang out with is in a relationship... that is a problem in of itself. I'm not 21, so my single friends who go to the bars are, well, at the bars. My under-21 friends, those who I love and respect and all that stuff, are all in relationships. I hate the fact that every time I am hanging out with them, I cannot help but feel that I am a third wheel or that I am keeping them from engaging in their private affairs. As much as they may say, "No, you are not a third wheel, we are all hanging out," that will not help me or make me think any differently.

At this point and time, I could come up with a comprehensive list of every reason why any girl would not want to show interest in me whatsoever... And it sucks. And it shows no change in the near future.

Something's Been Bugging Me...

...and of course, being that it is me stating this, it is about women.

For some reason, I seem to go into every semester developing crushes on girls who, at first glance, would be out of my league. Sometimes, or once, that crush is actually returned, but lo and behold I found out that time that the girl was not quite who I thought her to be. So, I thought I would get on here and just write a bit... I don't know why - perhaps it is because I have a little of that "free time" which is always uncommon for me if you know my usual workload.

Anyway, there are two girls who I am currently crushing on. For sake of anonymity, I shall call them x and y, because I am a math major. Let x represent the girl I utterly embarrassed myself in front of, and let y represent a new freshman who lives near me who I have chatted with quite a bit since the school year started. Both x and y are utterly beautiful, that is why I do nothing but shrivel up when I see either one of them with nervousness. I think it's similar to the ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) theory of classical conditioning. My craptastic love life has led me to shrivel up in front of a new pretty face.

Other than that, the semester has gotten off to a slow start. My classes are low in number (14 credits are real, 7 others are honors projects) so I'm not in class as much as I was last year. (THANK GOD!) I have time to do things, like learn piano music.

Fall 2009 Semester

I feel I should jump on here and just write a little bit about what I'm expecting out of my fall semester at the University. Here is my schedule:

EDUC 317L: Designing Curriculum for Low Incidence Disabilities Lab (Fridays, all day)

EDUC 342: Educational Media & Technology (Tues/Thurs 2:30 - 3:45)

EDUC 366: Emotional/Behavioral Disabilities (Mon/Weds 1:00 - 2:15)

EDUC 367: Designing Curriculum for Low Incidence Disabilities (Mon/Weds 3:00 - 4:15)

EDUC 385H: Textbooks, Tradebooks, and the Gifted (Honors)

MATH 222: Calculus III (Mon/Wed/Thurs/Fri 11:00 - 11:50)

MATH 385H: Honors Differential Equations (Thurs, 1:00)

I really do love this schedule because I'm finally rid of those bull general education courses; I can concentrate solely on what I want to concentrate on: mathematics and education. Also, I am really looking forward to the opportunity to dabble in some honors work and hopefully get a third article out. I say third because I am currently working on my second publication with my honors mentor in the education department which should (key word "should") be done within the month. Well, maybe by fall break. Who knows?

Regardless, it is absolutely fantastic to get back in the swing of things again. I really did miss everyone over the summer (a topic about which I will write another entry). The jazz band has been playing since Thursday and, with a couple of new additions, we sound pretty good! Unfortunately, our move-in gig got rained out Saturday morning so we had to move freshmen in.

Finally, I heard a very interesting line from my pastor's homily today that I thought I would share. Think about this line and what it means in the context of a truly Catholic life: "Everyone should be subordinate to everyone."

What the Hell is Going On???

So... I feel as though I have lost control of a situation... this is not a situation where I want to lose control, but it is a situation where control has seemingly been taken from me in unfortunate ways.

What do I learn from this situation? I obviously cannot trust those who I thought I can trust. I apparently cannot hide any sort of rough ideas from anyone. I obviously just need to keep my mouth shut about everything... anything that I seem to "put my two cents into" seems to fall apart.

Quite frankly, I feel this is no way that one should live his life. Why do I feel that I am held to some sort of higher sense of needed perfection? Every slip from "perfection" that I encounter causes a spiralling effect. Every time there may be a "spiraling" effect, I am the one left on the outside. Why?

Regardless... I'm sick of it. Every time, it sucks. As much as I try to avoid it... it corners me anyway. I'm sorry to have wasted my readers' time.

July: What's Going On?

I haven't been on here much recently because, well, there hasn't been too much going on. Then I realized that I had not commented on here about my recent trip to Colorado. I'm planning for that one to be simply a collage of pictures that explain the trip for itself.

In recent times, I have settled into my Ethics class but learned a valuable lesson with regards to something you struggle at: actually study. I currently have a B- in the class which is far below my usual standard of A or bust. I'm confident that I can turn it around and hope that my C on the second test didn't kill me. I guess that just about sums up the horrible week I had last week.

Long story short, last week was bad. Granted, I received results for my Praxis Middle School Math exam. 194/200 means I passed! I can teach Middle School Math after receiving my BS in Special Education in May 2011. After that, though, the week took a sharp downward turn. I found out that PHEAA proved me uneligible for a grant that they told me I was awarded previously. They did not inform me, however, until after my class started and after the refund drop date. So, I'm stuck. I do have money to cover it, but that means that my work study money for the Fall gets significantly cut, so I'm screwed work-wise. Yay! (I'm hoping to have this resolved in the coming weeks...praying in fact)

Sunday, I went to go see Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. EXCELLENT MOVIE! I will not write here just in case because it is a "spoiler alert."

Also, I just want to say that matters of the heart are between two people, not between one crushing girl and all of facebook. Thank you! :D

Another Dream

Last night, I had another one of those weird dreams that had me half in Brooklyn and half here in NEPA. Good news is this time it did not feature any sort of current "crush" but rather a blend of old and new friends. So, here goes:

I was sitting in the living room of my old house in Gerritsen Beach, where I had lived from around age 7 through age 16. It was the middle of the day, a summer day to be exact, and I was there with three of my friends from the U of Scranton, oddly enough the three whose blogs I follow: zcrescendo, iepoch, and lunaticraft. We were all sitting and enjoying a nice drink or watching TV or something. That part is fading. Anyway, the three of them kept having a conversation about how successful, perfect, Godly, and remarkable Barack Obama is. Anyone who knows me knows that is not what I think, but I digress as that is for a different time and place. I kept arguing with all of their points (which, basically, are points taken directly from NBC and their outward affectiveness towards our President) and getting really frustrated. That compounded when zcrescendo suddenly went from wearing a "University of Scranton" hoodie to wearing a "Barack is my homedog" hoodie. I don't know.

Anyway, finally I got so annoyed with the entire conversation that I decided to leave my house. What was interesting about when I walked outside is that it was exactly the Bevy Court I left a few short years ago. I walked down the block past the old loud big dogs at the Gilgan house and around the corner to where my best bud Shawn lives. He was outside with Kerry and Danielle, both of whom I could never say enough about. They were playing basketball, which is basically what we would always do. So, I joined them and I lamented about my Barack-problems and we shot some hoops for a while.

After the game of basketball, I realize that it is the first day of school and that I am going to be late for class. Where is school? Well, the University of Scranton, of course. So I jet home, say good-bye to lunaticraft, zcrescendo, and iepoch, and walk outside to my car to drive off to school. As I am driving, it was very realistic. I took the same directions as I would to get to school anyway. Made a left at the corner, went two blocks and made a right, then went two blocks and made a left, and finally drove forever on what was PA-307. The only difference was that all of the streets reminded me of city blocks that I had lived on. My block was Bevy Court; the second block was Allen Avenue; the third block was Plumb 2nd Street; PA-307 was Gerritsen Avenue.

Then, as if it couldn't get any weirder, I decided I was hungry and needed to go to Kings Plaza, the mall by my old Brooklyn house, for some food. This is synonymous with the fact that I go to the mall by my job every day for lunch. So, after getting food, I return to my car in the parking garage to not be able to find it. I walk around and start blasting the Toyota "Panic" button, only to have the blaring car horn transform into my blaring alarm clock (back in the reality that is awake) reminding me that I need to go to class.

However, in the words of Billy Mays, "But wait, there's more!" I decided that it was early enough to warrant pressing the snooze button and going back to relax for ten minutes. I fall back to sleep, however, to find myself still in the parking lot of Kings Plaza looking for my car. Again, I have no luck finding it and start to panic that I will be late for class. Again, I press the "Panic" button and the blaring car horn again turns into my blaring alarm clock. The dream ends there.

So, what do you all think of my crazy mind?

The Mets and Citi Field

Last night, I had the pleasure of going to a Mets game with a couple of my good friends from the University. It was a beautiful evening, outside of a stray shower here and there, and that beautiful evening was complemented by the Mets winning a thrilling ballgame by the score of 6 to 4. It was a close game throughout, with both teams trading runs back and forth. I was glad to see the Mets win because to say that they are riddled with injuries is a vast understatement. But, I wanted to take some time to comment on the ballpark, which has been both praised and scrutinized by those who have seen it.

First off, I would like to commend the Mets organization and all of those involved on building such a beautiful ballpark. The design is so much more intimate and the ballpark has a "small" feel to it because of how close everything is. The seats really are much closer to the field and you can see the game beautifully even from the cheapest seat in the ballpark. I highly recommend coughing up the $15 minimum to attend a game.

With that said, there are a few problems that are like "epic fails" because they came out of good intentions. After all, nothing is perfect.

• In bringing the upper deck closer to the action, the architects overlooked the fact that doing so will cut off the outfield corners. Sitting in the left-field outfield seats (circa sections 520+) will mean you can't see all of the left-field corner; the same is true for right-field.
• The out of town scoreboard, on the roof over left field, is mounted so it comes down, significantly blocking the view of those seated in the last few rows out there. (unfortunately, they don't get a discounted ticket.) Let's move that scoreboard in the off-season, okay?

Synopsis of a Dream

Adding to the already interesting "dream synopsis" collection that has began with iepoch and zcrescendo, I have one to add to the collection. This is one that came out of nowhere, was random, and really leaves me nowhere; there is nothing I can do to "follow up" on this dream or anything like that. The details are quite scattered, considering the dream was from last night, but there is a girl involved. (No it's not a XXX dream, come on!)

Anyway, the girl, whom I will call "Viola," and I were enjoying an interesting evening. We were just relaxing on my bed, watching television, and talking about this or that. One thing I remember, oddly enough, is that we were sitting on my bed in my old room in Brooklyn. It so vividly reminded me of that room in the setup, the wall color, and of course the crappy desktop computer in the corner that never seemed to work. But it was just a little odd. I mean, I had been on and off crushing on Viola, having circumstances that made me realize the crush was worthless. But, as I sat with Viola, talking with her, it felt very real, and honestly it felt very cool. If only it was reality, but alas she is back in the place she calls home and will be there until September.

Then, the dream turned odder. Viola and I were now revisiting my high school days, heading to J.F.K. Airport for my third tour of Japan with the "Brooklyn Catholic High School" Jazz Band and Choir. Oddly enough, Viola the girl was there with me. We saw my old music teacher and all of that, and even ran into my best buddy from high school, GreyGaurdian, and his brother schismcr - which was awesome. As we were about to board, Viola coming on board as well, I realized that I had no clothes with me. Instead, I had a tuba, a trumpet, a trombone, a Euphonium, and Viola's viola, (all stuck inside of one really small, light, bag.) It was then that my alarm went off and I woke up.

Upon waking up, has anyone ever had those sensations where the dream felt so real that it was disappointing to wake up and realize that it was all a dream? (Make sense out of that English!) Well, that is how I felt. And, worse than that, Viola continued to be on my mind sporatically throughout the day. Like I said, there is nothing I can do because she is home, far away from here, and will not return until August. The question then becomes: should I bother then? Has it been enough rediculous failed attempts?

I'm Back

I know it has been a while since I've written - life has been hectic to say the least. Both good and bad things have happened, and I feel this is as good a time as any to update on my life.

School is over and everyone is gone, which always makes me disappointed. I can't wait to see everyone in September; it seems so far away but yet will be here so soon anyway. I finished with a 3.63 GPA for the semester, which is actually my worst semester to date. I'm not worried or anything, because it was also the semester where I loaded up on general education classes that I really couldn't care less about. I had 22 credits total, so I think a 3.63 is more than good.

As of now, I'm slowly settling into my summer routine. I will be working from 8:30 to 1:00 Mon-Thurs and 8:30 to 4:30 on Fridays for the month of June, and will be taking Ethics during the month of July. I honestly cannot wait for that class to begin; it really seems like a class that could have a fantastic effect on my education at the U.

Also, my summer has been pretty good on the "things to do" list, after I was worrying about not having anything to do. Last Friday, a group of good friends and I went to see a Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees game which was AWESOME, but also served as proof why a bunch of self-proclaimed music nerds should not attend a baseball game. Being that it was girl scout night, we were surrounded by children who were not too appreciative of our harmonizing The Star Spangled Banner and Holst's 2nd Suite. But we are seriously considering putting together a nice small-group arrangement of the Banner to sing. Also last week, I met up with my good friends in New York City and saw the most awesome amateur Beatles band - videos will be posted eventually. Finally, today, I went with a fellow trombonist to pick up a fellow trombonist from Philadelphia International Airport. All in all, it has been a fairly entertaining beginning of the summer.

More posts will follow as things occur.

Re: "Dear X"

FAIL.

Dear X

Over this past semester, I feel like I have gotten to know you a bit. And through getting to know you, I feel as though we have quite a bit in common. At the same time, I just get this feeling that makes me want to get to know you a bit more. And, honestly, the more we hang out, the more I get this feeling. I don't think it is merely a "crush," I think it's starting to turn into genuine attraction. I think I'm starting to like you. So, I say this... Let's hang out a bit. Let's get to know each other even more. For that is the only way for me to see whether this is a crush or an attraction. I know, it sounds simple, but it's not because I have no idea how you feel. I mean, you do laugh at all of my jokes, but it's unfortunate that you were sick and busy with your schoolwork when I asked to hang out. Though, I say only this more... If it is meant to be, it will be. There is nothing I can do to control it other than tell you how I feel. And that, I just have done. I hope that, if you do happen to read this, you understand where I am coming from. 

Governmental Priorities

Here is an interesting article I found on CNN's website:
http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/04/14/extremism.report/

Basically, it says that everyone should watch out for right-wing extremist groups, especially with the election of the first African-American president who happens to be left-leaning.

Two points:
1. Doesn't the government need to worry about a lot more important issues than the Republican Party?
2. You will notice that the Department of Homeland Security never released any documents like this during the eight years George W. Bush was in office despite the rediculous anti-Bush sentiment that went throughout the country.

(* )<

One of those Days

Everybody has them, of course. Just one of those days. It began well, you know, a normal day and such. But the evening destroyed my mood.

I had dinner amongst the company of an "ex" of sorts; those of you who know the story know the story. Anyone else, contact me personally and I'll say it. But, bottom line is that it became awkward and it was not my fault. I guess I obviously cannot understand why people must choose to act the way they act, and I also suppose I am no better because I am writing about it rather than dealing with it. But, whatever. It's the way to go.

Then there is this new girl in my life. She is quite pretty and obviously intelligent, but all I have done thus far is prove to her that I'm a complete idiot. I suppose time will tell whether or not this will happen. But after the affairs of my heart over the last year, I could really use a break from the bad luck.

I promise you all this will not become whiny.

-fishy

An Easter Reflection

For me, religion as a whole has revived over the past few years of my life, especially since I began school at The U. I don't know why; all I know is I'm really glad it happened. This Easter was definitely the one that sticks out in my life as being the one to remember, and it wasn't because my dad's roast beef was awesome. Nor was it because my uncle and his family came out and we had an absolute blast. It was because of the hour and a half I spent inside my church this morning.

I backtrack a few days. This year was the first time I decided to attend the celebrations on Holy Thursday and Good Friday. I also had the pleasure of attending these services with my friend and fellow jazz band trombonist. The celebrations were awesome and, what added to it even more was the fact that I assisted in each of them. For Holy Thursday, I presented the Holy Chrism to the congregation as Deacon John and Father Simon read scripture. For Good Friday, I carried the cross to the altar and stood there with 20 others holding it up for a good half hour while the entire congregation kissed it. Yes it was heavy, but so what. Then, today, to see the entire community come together and celebrate what some may consider to be the very reason why our religion exists was unbelievable. The extent to which the community prepared moved me. It also, of course, got me thinking about my eighth grade class.

Here we go again. In two weeks, another set of the confirmed will be sent out into the world as adults in the eyes of Christianity. Every year, all I hear is complaining because "none of the children really care and will not set foot back into the church unless they are forced to." But, I have good reason to think that will not happen with this year's class. Half of the confirmation class was present at either or both of the masses I attended during Holy Week. (I am sorry, I was out of town for the Vigil.) It was great to see and reassuring because I remember how I was at that age - you could not PAY me to attend any mass other than those I was forced to attend. Two weeks from Wednesday is the celebration and I have a feeling that I may have watery eyes again this year.

Welcome to the Fish Blog!

Hey all,

I've never really tried this blogging thing before but I figure that enough people I know have blogs, so I may as well join the party and see if this works. I am going to use this space to comment on things that go on in my life that I feel are worth mentioning. Anyone is welcome to read it and I do appreciate anyone who does take the time to care about what may be going on in my life.

With that said, I am a person who constantly has things going on. Some things which I will discuss on here are: how to survive a 22-credit semester, my sixth graders, my eighth graders, politics (AH!), and the general goings-on of everyday life.

I do wish to make this blog anonymous for, among others, professional reasons. However, you all can know that I am a 19-year old sophomore at the University of Scranton, studying Elementary Education, Special Education, and Mathematics. I am also a member of the University's Honors Program and I practically live in the music department. I'm currently single with an annoying "love life," which is in quotes because it's funny at times to even say that a love life of mine exists. It also is often a source of stress which may be vented about multiple times on here.

Well, I invite anyone who is interested to check back often and check out any new posts. You can subscribe to my blog (if that is possible) and comment on anything and everything. I'm an idiot, so I will say that any comment that I find offensive towards anyone who may read will be personally deleted - I don't play the douche game.

Until later, take it easy!

- Fishy